Blogging 101
by NoShoesNoShirtNoSheldon
Summary: An insight to the life of Phineas Flynn through his terribly exciting blog. With strange feelings for his brother, guys creeping on his girlfriend and most of his friends mad at him, it seems Phineas can never catch a break. That's what the blog is for- his own personal therapy session. And we get to read. Phineas/Ferb, Phineas/Isabella, Buford/Baljeet
1. My Brother Is Kind Of Cute

**I got this idea for a kind of blog thing from a Style fic I read. I don't even watch South Park. But I read this awesome Kyman and got hooked. And then I read Style and got hooked. And now I read fanfiction for a show I don't even watch. I make ALL the sense!**

**What is with me and my Authors Notes dragging on and on forever? No one reads them anyway. Suppose I should get to the story, huh?**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Phineas and Ferb, it would become one big gay-fest. So, no, I don't own it. Unfortunately. **

Xoxoxo

_January_ _3__rd_

This is my first blog post. I suppose I'll look back on this and reminisce on all the good times, and even on all the bad times. Either that or scoff at how stupid I was.

This whole thing started because of a suggestion made by an old friend. Really, on my list on friends, Django is no where near the top. That's not to say he's a bad friend, it's just I have so many of them and I'm closer to a whole bunch of them than I am to him. But we sit at the same lunch table and we share a few classes, so it's not unusual for me to be talking to him, and it's not unusual for him to suggest things.

Anyway, I had been complaining that lately I've had to bottle things up inside because the two people I confide in the most- my step-brother Ferb and my girlfriend Isabella- suddenly became the source of my recent problems. And its really the sort of thing that makes me quail at the thought of sitting down with them and talking it through. I can totally imagine how well that would go. So I couldn't talk about my problems because I didn't trust anyone with them.

So Django told me to start a blog.

It seems stupid, really. Why should I tell complete strangers my darkest secrets when I can't even tell my friends? But there's something comforting about knowing that the people reading this don't even know me, so even if they judge me and hate me, it's no skin off my back because I've never met them before in my life, right?

I'm really good with computers. I don't mean to sound up myself, but I'm really good with a lot of things. Anyway, I managed to meddle with the settings on this blog and change it so that no one in the Tri-State Area can access it, apart from my own computer of course. I then went ahead and did the same with areas that contain people who know me. I feel safe enough now that I can write about anything and everything and not have to worry that someone like Isabella- God forbid- will read this.

With the boring back story over and done with, I can finally get to the real reason I'm here. My problems. Brace yourselves, random strangers, because this is a doozy.

I may or may not have feelings- romantic feelings- for my step-brother.

Now do you understand why I couldn't tell them? Because Ferb will hate me forever and Isabella will throw a fucking fit. I'm not kidding, she will go crazy. I don't know why, but since we've hit high school her temper has gotten worse and worse. I'm mostly okay because she likes me and wants to impress me, but other's have been known to wet themselves in fear when she throws a tantrum at them. Maybe that's a bit of an over exaggeration, but still, she's fucking scary.

Anyway, I know how it will go down. If everyone finds out, I'll be labeled as a freak and be shunned. My parents will be disgusted, although I'm hoping they wouldn't be cruel enough to throw me out. I don't think they are, but you never know until you're in the situation. My step-brother, Ferb, would try and stick by me. I mean, we've been through thick and thin together and we're closer than most blood-brothers. But in the end it would be too much for him. It would disgust him too much. And slowly he'd stop spending as much time with me until eventually he'd stop talking to me all together.

And Isabella would freak out, get all paranoid on me, and probably have a fit at Ferb. Because it's totally his fault I think I may like him.

It's not his fault he's grown into a six foot British fucking god. Seriously, it still puzzles me how he managed to turn from the awkward, strange-haired little boy with a too-big nose into the hottie that he is now. He's about a head taller than me- which irks me to no end and he constantly reminds me about- and a hell of a lot broader, too. But that's not saying much, because I'm this short, skinny redhead with a gigantic fucking nose- that makes me a hypocrite for talking about his nose, I guess- and no muscle whatsoever. Honestly, I don't even know what Isabella sees in me.

I know what you're thinking, random strangers. All three of you. Because how many people want to read some kid's blog, right? Anyway, I know what you're thinking. That I'm a disgusting little freak who's into incest and is going to burn in hell or whatever. Exactly the reason I disabled commenting. I don't believe in God anyway, so I'm not worried about hell. And we're not blood related, so technically it isn't incest. I'm still a bit of a freak, though. But I'm okay with that.

I feel better already. Who knew writing (ranting) about my problems could be so therapeutic? I bet Buford would tease the hell out of me if he knew. About the blog, not the semi-incest maybe-crush I have. Buford is one of my closer friends, although I don't know why. He's the school's bully and is pretty much an asshole all the time. But we're all safe because he saves his bullying for his 'nerd' Baljeet, who is another of my closer friends.

Their relationship is... weird, to say the least. I think there might be something going on there, but I really have no idea. What Buford classes as 'bullying' is really just semi-nasty teasing and a bit of play fighting. And Baljeet's so used to it that it just rolls off his back. But the real weird thing is that Baljeet is intensely clingy of his 'bully'. Seriously, Buford's a bit of a jerk to everyone, but if he shows any special interest in bullying anyone else, Baljeet has a fit and starts asking him questions like "Am I not good enough for you?"

Seriously, just like a fucking married couple. And when Buford got a girlfriend, Baljeet freaked out. He was terrified that she'd take him away and take up all his time. So he demanded that Buford break up with her. And Buford actually did it. He broke up with his girlfriend for Baljeet. How weird is that?

Reading over this, I realize I got way off topic. Really quickly, too. So I'm going to go back to the main reason I'm writing, and that's my brother and my girlfriend.

Isabella. She's sweet (when she wants to be), she's funny, she's tough, she's determined, she's beautiful, she's popular. She can always come up with a plan in under ten seconds. No, really. I fell out of a haunted building that was suspended in the air (long story) and she managed to create a safety net in the few seconds it took me to fall back down to earth. That girl saved my life. It's not that I don't like her- I do. She's amazing and I enjoy being with her and I was extremely happy when we finally started dating.

It's just I _might _have feelings for Ferb, too. I don't know, its hard to tell. I mean, before Isa and I started dating and after I realized I liked her, I would always think about her. Whenever I got a text from her I'd smile like crazy and answer within the minute, and then wait anxiously for the reply. My heart beat was fucking crazy whenever she got too close and I was always a nervous tongue-tied wreck whenever she asked me questions. Even stupid ones like "what'd you have for dinner last night?" would leave me stammering for a response. I've gotten used to her by now but every now and again I still get nervous around her. She finds it cute, thank god.

With Ferb it's different. I never get tongue-tied around him, I always know what to say. I always know what he wants to say, too. He doesn't talk much- at least, not around other people. When it's just us he opens up and tells me anything and everything. Nothing is secret between us (except my maybe-feelings for him and this blog, of course). Sometimes I do get nervous around him and sometimes my heart goes a little bit too fast, but not all the time. It's weird. Some days I won't even give him a second thought and some days I'll be daydreaming about us kissing. I don't know what's up with my freaking mind lately. Maybe I'm going insane.

We don't text much because we see each other all the time and we kind of live together so there's not much point, but when we do, sometimes I do get that special little jolt when I check my phone and see his name. Sometimes I don't. It's like my body's like "you have a crush on your brother!" and then the next minute it turns around and says "nope, sorry, false alarm". It's so frustrating because I just want to fucking know if I do or not. I should be able to tell if I have feelings for someone, right? Something must be seriously wrong with me.

I don't know what I'd do if I did know for sure, though. I mean, obviously if I don't have feelings for him I can just go back to normal and continue dating Isabella happily and never think of this again. But if I do have feelings for him? What would I even do, then? I still like Isa a lot. I don't know if I'd want to dump her for him. And then there's the whole HE'S MY BROTHER thing. Which means the chances of him liking me back are completely nil. Well, maybe like one percent or something. And it also means even if he did like me back, what could we do? It's not like we could date or anything. We're brothers. I'm pretty sure absolutely no one would be supportive of it. Except Perry. Because he's my pet platypus and they don't do much. They certainly don't judge you for having unnatural feelings.

I should probably wind this up now because it's getting pretty late and Ferb just came into our bedroom and is getting ready for bed. Yeah, we share a room. That makes this even more fucked up because I could watch him change if I wanted to. Not that I do, because that's a complete violation of his privacy and I'm not sure I even want to see that. Still, I stare at his chest a lot. I try to tell myself it's because I'm jealous that I'm so scrawny and his chest is just so damn perfect, but... Well. You know. Most people don't get boners over their brother's chest because they're jealous.

Too much information? Well too bad. I'm not going to censor a damn thing. Not that I have anything overly juicy to write about because I'm still a virgin and Isabella is a firm believer in the whole 'waiting till marriage' thing. Go figure, right?

It's a good thing Ferb doesn't bother to check what I'm doing when he asks. I said I was editing my english homework. Which lead to me frantically minimizing this and pulling up my english homework, just in case he did come over to check. But he only chuckled, said, "like you need to" and switched off the light. I can hear him tossing and turning in his bed and I know its because the light from my laptop is pissing him off, but he won't say anything. I wonder if he thinks I'll get upset or something.

Anyway, I'm not about to purposely piss him off any longer. I don't know how often I'll update this blog, but it's not likely to be every day. I'm just so busy, I don't have the time. But knowing my luck, something awful will happen and I will just have to come on here and rant about it because this is actually making me feel a lot better.

Bye for now,

-Phin.

Xoxoxo

**I hope I captured the way he feels correctly. We've all had that one crush where you're not entirely sure if you actually like them, right? No? Maybe I'm just crazy.**

**Anyway, review! Tell me what you think! Tell me anything you want me to put in! Reviews are much loved.**


	2. Phinerb For The Win

**Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait. I have no internet access right now and the library from which I scam free wi-fi was closed for the holidays. But it recently re-opened! So here I am.**

**For those of you who read my other stories (Revealing Secrets, After Sex, etc) I'm so sorry but those won't be updated for a while. I haven't even got the plan for RS and the other ones haven't even been started. As soon as I get the time, I promise I'll work on the ones that don't need plans.**

**I've gotten really into Emblem3. Favourite band, right there. I normally don't write fanfiction about people who are, you know, actually real... but they're all so cute! Anyway, I've written like three one-shots that kind of carry on from each other about Emblem3, and I can't freakin' post them because internet (duh) and there's not a Emblem3 section on . Not that I expected there to be one.**

**But I'm desperate for feedback. If anyone wants to read my Emblem3 stuff, I'll love you forever. And probably give you previews for this/another one of my P&F stories or something. Anyone? Any takers? PM me or review in? I'd love you so much?**

Xoxoxo

_January 10__th_

The girls wrote a list again.

Ever since we were kids, the girls (and by girls I mean the Fireside Girls that Isabella is the leader of) used to always take turns at making random lists and posting them everywhere. You couldn't go five steps without seeing one of their lists. I never really understood _why _it was so damn fun for them, but it was always harmless nonsense like 'Top Five Hottest Celebrities' so I didn't really care.

Now I care. I care a whole fucking lot.

Someone (and I'm pretty sure this someone is Adyson but she won't own up because Isabella is furious) made a 'Top Five Cutest Couples' list. Instead of making a million copies and putting them up everywhere, for some reason there was only one copy and it was found by Milly. She was naturally very interested and invited herself, Isabella, Baljeet and Buford over to my place so she could read the list out loud. I think she just wanted to see our reactions. I suppose you're all curious so I'll tell you what was on the list.

5. Phineas and Isabella

(I totally get that. Everyone has been rooting for us to get together since we were like, ten. I'm surprised we were last, though.)

4. Baljeet and Ginger

(Buford didn't seem very pleased about this one...)

3. Buford and Milly

(Buford _definitely _wasn't pleased about this one, nor was Baljeet.)

2. Buford and Baljeet

(After blowing up at the other two, both of them were strangely silent when this one was read out.)

1. Phineas and Ferb

(I just... Yeah.)

So now you get it, right? Someone (coughAdysoncough) is obviously a total fan of what was recently dubbed 'Phinerb'. Seriously, we have our own couple name now. You know why? Because Milly went and told _everyone _that Isabella is just a front and that I'm really with Ferb. And a lot of people actually believed her.

I'm getting ahead of myself, though. When Milly finished reading out the list, she peeked over the top of it to stare at us. Namely, at myself, Ferb and Isabella. I was sitting in my chair, probably looking shocked out of my mind with my mouth hanging open. When I regained control over myself, I looked over at Ferb to see his reaction. He had one eyebrow raised but that was it. Usually I can read him and his emotions but I couldn't that time. Maybe my own emotions were getting in the way.

And then I glanced over at Isabella.

My first thought was 'uh-oh, I have to go into hiding' because her fists were clenched, she looked both upset and murderous at the same time, and her glare was locked on me. Honestly, I wanted to get up and run and never fucking look back. But I'm a good boyfriend (and a fucking coward) so I didn't move.

"Is this true?" she screamed at me, pointing in Milly's direction. Milly looked rather alarmed.

I knew what she meant, of course. She wanted to know if I was screwing my brother behind her back. I wasn't, so I told her as much. "No!" I shouted back at her. "It's not true!"

I carefully didn't mention that I didn't exactly hate the idea of it, though.

"Then why is it on a list?" Isabella screeched, stomping over to snatch the list from Milly. Milly cowered away from her, which is understandable.

I'm making my girlfriend out to seem like a total psycho, aren't I? She's amazing, she really is. But her temper is just a little... out of control.

"Isabella," Ferb cut in, saving me from having to stutter out a horrible answer that would probably enrage her further. My brother looked calm, like zen calm, and it seemed to do the trick when it came to calming Isabella down. "It's just a stupid list. Both Buford and Baljeet were on there twice, as was Phineas. I highly doubt any of them are in two relationships at the same time. Just because its on paper, doesn't mean it's true. Obviously someone just did this as a joke."

Isabella glanced between us, Ferb looking stoic and me looking a nervous wreck. Eventually she sighed and ripped the list in two. "Okay. I believe you."

Unfortunately, a lot of people around town didn't.

The next day when Ferb and I went down to the mall, someone (I vaguely remember her from school but have never spoken to her nor do I know her name) actually took a photo of us eating an order of fries, squealed "PHINERB FOR THE WIN!" and ran off. I mean, I know fan girls can get obsessive, but _really_? Imagine if one of them found this blog and discovered my secret kind-of-crush on my brother. They would go wild. And my life would be over.

I knew I needed to refocus all the attention on my brother and me's so called 'relationship' onto something else. If anyone looked into it too much, I'd be toast. So I did the only thing I could do. Betray my friends.

That's right. You are looking at (well, not really, you're just reading my blog) the secret leader of the BuJeet fan club.

I did everything in my power to make the Phinerb fan girls become BuJeet fans. I hung around Buford and Baljeet as much as I could and secretly took pictures of them talking to each other. I actually got a really amazing one where Baljeet is laughing and leaning on Buford for support, and the big lump is looking down at his 'nerd' with this incredibly fond expression. If they'd known I was hiding behind a nearby tree taking photos, they probably wouldn't have been so open.

Anyway, I created a fan page, put that picture on it and wrote about all the times I could remember where the two seemed to have feelings for each other. I kept myself anonymous and invited everyone I knew. Soon it had over two hundred fans and Buford and Baljeet got attention where ever they went. I felt bad, because it stressed out Baljeet, but ultimately I'm selfish and I was succeeding in my attempt to get everyone to forget about Phinerb, so I didn't stop.

One good thing that came from this is I got to see everyone's reactions to a relationship between myself and Ferb, without actually being in a relationship with him. Isabella was as predicted, as you already know. She freaked and screamed her head off. My parents, when they saw all the flyers for the 'Phinerb Fan Club meetings' were extremely surprised to say the least. My mother actually sat me down and lectured me on safe sex. It was horrible.

But the good thing is that they were accepting. It's not like Ferb and I are actually together, but knowing my parents (and pretty much the entire female population of the Tri-State Area) weren't disgusted was a big relief. Knowing everything would be okay if I did actually 'go there' made me happy.

It was Ferb's reaction that I was worried about the most, though. The night following Milly's finding the list and reading it out to us, we had a discussion about it before we went to sleep. I was sitting on my bed in my pyjamas, pretending to fiddle around with my phone. Ferb was wandering around in just his boxers, seemingly unaware of my eyes following him wherever he went. He _really _had a nice chest. It distracted me so much that I didn't even realize he'd spoken until he snapped his fingers in my face.

"Huh?" I responded, quite eloquently I might add.

"I _said_: are you upset over that whole list thing?"

"Oh! Uhm..."

It's at this point that I should stop and say something. You know how I said I only got tongue-tied around Isabella? Turns out I get tongue-tied around Ferb too. Maybe it was just the topic of conversation, I don't know. Either way, my next words were just painful.

"I-I... no, of course not! It's just a stupid list, right?" I could steadily feel my face growing more and more red as I stumbled over my words, having no idea what the fuck I was on about, while Ferb stared at me with an incredulous expression. "Not that, uhm, dating you would be bad or anything! I just... uh... yeah. Not upset."

"Well, that's good," Ferb said after a moment, probably wondering when his brother had turned into such an idiot.

Fishing for something to say, I blurted out, "are you upset about it?" and immediately cursed myself. What if he had said yes? I'm a sensitive guy. I think I would have been quite upset if he had turned around and said that he was furious, because who the fuck would date me? If that was the way he had felt, I'd have rather stay in the dark, thank you very much.

"Nah," he settled on his bed and leaned back, looking rather relaxed and damn sexy. "I was more amused at Buford and Baljeet's reactions. Did you know someone set up a whole fan page for them? It was actually pretty amusing."

I beamed at the praise, despite the fact he had no idea it was me who had done that. I didn't tell him about my mission to make BuJeet a huge thing because then he'd no doubt ask me _why _I was so determined to get everyone to forget about Phinerb, and then... well... you heard me before. I'd probably turn into an even worse stuttering mess.

"Anyway," Ferb said after a moment, turning to look at me. "It's just a stupid list, like I said. Although I understand why Isabella was so mad, you're quite the catch."

I was sure my face matched my hair by that point. It was so embarrassing that I couldn't even control my own body anymore, no matter how furiously I told myself to stop blushing. Ferb just chuckled and rolled over, saying, "night, Phin."

I managed to squeak out a goodnight before I turned off the lights. God, I am just horrible at these things, aren't I?

But his reaction made me feel so relieved. He wasn't disgusted by the idea. That was a step in the right direction, right?

The next day, I spent the morning with Isabella, walking around the mall with her as she looked at jewelry and other girly things. I hate to say it, but I was dead bored and no matter how many times she tried to draw my attention to something, my mind stayed firmly on Ferb. You know how I said I have those days where I don't give him a second thought, and then I have those days where I can't stop thinking about him? Well, I was having one of the latter days. Again. They were getting more and more frequent lately.

When I got home, Isabella wanted to hang out more but I made up some excuse about homework, because I knew Ferb was home and for some reason the thought of hanging out with both of them at the same time made me nervous enough to feel nauseated. She was disappointed, and I felt guilty for lying. But I forgot about that soon enough because ten minutes later I was sitting down with Ferb to watch the newest Disney Princess movie.

Okay, that sounded gayer than it did in my head. I know that stuff is for little girls and all, but some of them are really good, and the musical ones are kind of catchy. And the movie, Tangled, was actually pretty amazing. It made Ferb laugh a lot, which I was thankful for, because he has a damn sexy laugh and I don't get to hear it enough.

It was close to the end of the movie when Ferb spoke up, just a casual comment that I didn't think twice about. "I think Rapunzel looked hotter with blonde hair."

"True," I replied without much thought. "But Flynn- sorry, Eugene- is definitely the hottest in the whole damn movie."

I didn't realize what I had said until I noticed Ferb hadn't spoken in a while. I glanced over at him, saw his raised eyebrow and felt my stomach sink low in my gut.

"You're gay?" he asked, sounding quite surprised.

"I have a girlfriend, you idiot," I snapped at him defensively. I mean, really, I _was _just hanging out with her.

"Which doesn't actually answer the question," Ferb deadpanned.

All I could think was 'damn, he has me there'.

"I'm not gay," I said quietly, turning back to the screen. I don't know why, but at that moment I was feeling rather upset.

"So, you're bi?" he asked casually.

"No!" I knew my face was lighting up in a blush. "...Yes? Maybe? I... don't know. I really don't. Can we drop this, please?"

"Okay," Ferb said calmly. I relaxed and reached for the almost empty popcorn bowl between us. The movie had just finished and my brother stood up and started walking to the other room. Before he passed through the doorway, he called over his shoulder, "it's okay if you're bi! I am too, so it's not like I'll judge you."

I knocked the popcorn bowl over in my surprise.

That was earlier this afternoon and now I'm sitting in my pyjamas, writing all this down on my laptop like a madman, trying to finish before Ferb decides he wants to go to sleep. He's currently sitting on his bed, reading a hardcovered book that either doesn't have a title printed on the front or I can't see it from here. Every now and again I'll look over at him, and he'll sense my gaze or something because he always looks up and stares right back at me. And of course I'll blush like fucking crazy and hurriedly look back down at my laptop.

So basically, I've learnt a lot of things these past few days. Ferb and I are apparently the number one cutest couple, even though the BuJeet fan site is doing way better than the Phinerb one (before I hacked into it and took it down), Isabella is scary when she's mad (just kidding- I already knew that) and not one person seemed overly disgusted by the suggestion of a relationship between myself and Ferb (other than Isa, obviously).

Oh, and my step-brother is bisexual.

Another step in the right direction, right? Baby steps, but still.

Bye for now,

-Phin

Xoxoxo

**Thanks for reading, guys! Please review!**

**And if you're interesting in reading my Emblem3 stuff feel free to PM me. **


	3. BuJeet Are Out Of The Closet

**Okay, so it's been like, what, months? A very long time. A very, very long time since I've updated. I want to apologize profusely for this, because I know how much it sucks when a story suddenly goes dead. I've had a lot going on lately (mainly to do with school) and I haven't had much time to write. And even when I do write, I've started writing Real-Person Fanfiction, which is as disturbing as it is fun. Anyone heard of Emblem3?**

**Favourite band, right there. I normally don't write fanfiction about people who are, you know, actually real... but they're all so cute! Anyway, I've written like two huge one shots and a few small ones and I can't freakin' post them because no internet and you can't post Real-Person Fanfiction on here, apparently.**

**But I'm desperate for feedback. If anyone wants to read my Emblem3 stuff, I'll love you forever. And probably give you previews for this/another one of my P&F stories or something. Anyone? Any takers? PM me or review in? I'd love you so much?**

**Anyway, ENJOY!**

OoO

_January 17__th_

It's been a week since I last posted, and some pretty sucky shit has happened, I'm telling you. But first I want to say how surprised I am at how many people read this. There is a viewer counter, you know, and over two hundred hits on my last post alone... it's crazy! Hoping none of you know me personally, or know someone who knows me. That would be awkward. And horrible.

And I also realized how stupid I am to put so many details of my life in here. Sure, none of you know my address or my surname or anything, but you do know I'm from the Tri-State Area, you know my friends' names, and you know I run a BuJeet fan site. I deleted all the comments saying "I came here because I read about it in Phineas' blog!" by the way. Nice going, guys. If anyone had seen that, I'd be toast by now. Luckily I managed to set it up so I could moderate the comments before they're shown on the site. Well, that was before I took the site down. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Okay, so I guess you want to know what happened this week. Well, you know how Buford and Baljeet were acting so weirdly about them being the second cutest couple?

Turns out they actually are a couple.

That's right, people. They were dating secretly when the list came out, and that was why Baljeet was so stressed out, because he was worried the attention they were getting would out them as a couple. And it did.

I feel really bad about it now, because I totally understand why they wanted to keep it a secret. I mean, Buford's mom is okay with it but Baljeet's parents are the traditional type. Their only son being gay would have been a nightmare to them. I don't think his parents have found out yet, but it's only a matter of time because the rest of the freakin' Tri-State Area knows.

Anyway, it pretty much went like this. Baljeet was freaking out about the BuJeet fan page while the group (essentially them two, myself, my girlfriend and my brother) was hanging out in the park and getting some ice-cream. I was minding my own business, eating my ice-cream and trying not to look guilty, when Buford turned around and snapped at Baljeet.

"Stop actin' like ya hate the idea of it! We both know ya don't."

Okay, so he doesn't actually talk like that, but it's close. He acts like a total Neanderthal sometimes. So Baljeet turns to him and this full blown argument starts. They were talking so quickly that I can't remember most of it but I do remember Baljeet mentioning his parents several times, to which Buford would reply "ah, fuck what they think!"

And the whole time not one of us noticed several fan girls edging their way closer and filming the whole thing on their phones. So of course, they had video evidence of Buford grabbing Baljeet quite forcefully and pulling him into what looked like a pretty bruising kiss at the end of the argument.

And when they pulled away Baljeet looked all flustered and dazed, but he was still furious and embarrassed. It was a pretty amusing combination- it was like he didn't know which emotion to act on. Buford then said, "there! Now our friends know. And they don't give a damn, right guys?"

And he turned to us with this deadly glare that had me yelping my affirmative in about two seconds, because I'm a fucking coward like that. Ferb and Isabella weren't intimidated in the least, but they both agreed because it was true. Baljeet settled down because it was just his friends and they accepted it.

And then the video no one noticed being taken was posted on the internet.

I had a co-admin for the BuJeet page. Just some kid who stayed anonymous just like me, so I don't really know who they are. They helped me post stuff and moderate the comments and all that jazz. So the next time I checked the page, I saw the other admin had posted the video on there and I absolutely freaked out. I mean, I pretty much screamed. And that was all it took for everything to come crumbling down.

Ferb, drawn by my scream, came running to see what was wrong. I didn't have the common sense to exit the page, so he saw everything. At first he thought I'd screamed because of the video and was honestly concerned for my friends. Then he noticed that I had all the admin options, like, I could delete comments and that stuff. He turned to me with a raised eyebrow and asked, "you're the admin of the BuJeet fan page?"

"Uhm..." I knew there was no point in lying so I laughed nervously and nodded. "Yeah."

"You're the one who's been posting all this shit about them?" he took the laptop off me and started to go through the site, mainly focusing on all the gossip I had posted.

"Ferb..." I tried, but I couldn't really find a way to explain myself.

"Seriously, Phin, I thought you had better taste," Ferb really sounded disappointed, and that hurt more than his anger would. "At first the page was kind of funny but now it's really out of control. I know Buford's not the greatest of friends, but Baljeet has always been good to us and this is really not cool."

"I'm sorry!" I tried to grab the laptop back but he held it out of my reach. "Look, Ferb, I'm really sorry. I only did it because I was hoping the more attention people paid to BuJeet, the less they would pay to Phinerb!"

It was really weird to say the word Phinerb to him. I mean, it's a combination of our names and implies that we love each other. It felt foreign as it left my mouth.

"Really?" he asked me, his expression blank. I nodded, hoping that my explanation would set things right and he wouldn't be so bloody disappointed. I was wrong. "So you _were_ upset about that stupid list."

"What?" I blinked at him stupidly.

"I knew it," a look of hurt settled on his face and he moved to stand up. In a panic, I pulled him back down.

"No! Ferb, I wasn't upset by it!" I was pretty close to crying at that point, because I hate when people are angry at me and it was even worse that it was Ferb.

"Then why are you so determined to make everyone forget about Phinerb!" he gestured to the laptop, looking both frustrated and hurt. I couldn't blame him.

It was also pretty weird hearing him say Phinerb. Kind of erotic, in a way. Which made me want to hit myself over the head with a baseball bat because here we were having an argument, and here I was thinking about how erotic it was when Ferb pronounced Phinerb.

I'm an idiot.

"I... just... I..." remember when I said I'd turn into a stuttering mess if I had to explain? Yep. I was right. "L-Look, I just..."

"I knew you were freaked out by it, Phineas," Ferb pushed the laptop back at me and stood up. "But I didn't think you'd be so disgusted by the mere thought of it. If you think its so horrible that girls assume that because we're so close we might get together, then maybe I should do you a favor and just leave you alone."

And then he walked out of the room and hasn't spoken to me since. That was three days ago. This is the longest amount of time we've fought, and I'm a total mess right now. I want to talk to him and explain, but I don't know how. I've tried to apologize but he just ignores me. He avoids me, too, which is pretty hard because we live in the same house. He's taken to sleeping in the spare room (my older sister's old room before she moved out) just to get away from me. It's crazy! I don't even understand why he's so mad.

He must have told someone about me being admin, though, because neither Buford nor Baljeet are talking to me either. I've taken down the site and done my best to hack into anything containing BuJeet material and delete those as well, but they're still angry. The only close friend I have who'll even talk to me is Isabella, and I can tell she's secretly disappointed as well.

Adyson came over yesterday and confessed to making the list. She's convinced it's her fault that everyone's mad at me. If you think about it, it kinda is. If she hadn't made that stupid list, none of this shit would have happened. But I was so happy that someone other than Isabella was talking to me, so I told her it was okay and that I forgave her. We hung out the rest of the day, along with Isa, and it was cool. I felt relaxed and happy for the first time in three days, just watching a movie with them and enjoying myself. And then Ferb came home, saw us sitting on the couch together, and promptly turned around and left again.

Which of course made me start crying because I'm a total girl.

Isabella offered to go beat up Ferb but I declined (even though tiny little Isa beating up six foot British god Ferb would have been hilarious to see). None of this is his fault, it's mine. It's my fault that he hates my guts right now. Although I did hear from Adyson that apparently Ferb stopped Buford from coming over here and disemboweling me, so at least he's still protecting me. When I asked her where she heard it from, she said Baljeet told her, and I felt another wave of loneliness because I missed talking to Baljeet. He and I both enjoy maths, and no one really understands the passion for it like he does. Everyone else just stares at me like I'm crazy.

I'm still kind of in shock at the fact the supposed 'bully' and 'nerd' were actually dating. I mean, it was really obvious and I was suspicious of them for ages, but I thought they just liked each other. Who knew they'd actually been dating for nine months? Nine months! I can't even remember much about back then, although I do know I wasn't with Isa at that time and there was a lot of tension in the group. Looking back, I realize it was because Isa and I were crushing on each other but too afraid to admit it, and Buford and Baljeet were aware of each other's feelings and on the verge of dating. I feel sorry for nine-months-ago-Ferb. He had to put up with all of that, and he did it without complaint.

Anyway, back to Ferb being angry at me. There's always a silver lining, right? Well I guess there is one in this situation, but it's also a bad thing. Basically, after spending three days moping and crying, I came to the stunning realization that I did in fact have a crush on my step-brother. I mean, all my confusion was because my feelings for him are different to my feelings for Isabella, right? And then I thought, "well duh!" they are different people, after all, and I have different relationships with them. So why shouldn't my feelings be different, even if they were both of the romantic kind?

But the bad thing about it is there's not much point in realizing it because Ferb now hates me. Well, he probably doesn't hate me, but he's upset and angry at me and that's close enough because it hurts and sends me into a fit of crying every time I think about it.

I'm sounding like such a pussy right now, aren't I?

...Okay, after I wrote that last sentence, I heard some noises coming from outside so I went to go look out my window. It's about midday right now, by the way. Anyway, I look outside and I see Isabella and Django Brown walking up the pathway towards my house. They stopped outside the door and just stood there talking. I couldn't really hear what they were saying but I picked up on the signals Django was sending every time he reached out to touch her shoulder or arm or something.

Django was hitting on my girlfriend.

Seriously, that pisses me off. Its like now that I'm a social outcast due to pretty much no one talking to me, it's okay to flirt with my girlfriend. I was filled with sadistic glee when she politely brushed him off and went inside. Serves him right for trying to get with a girl who's taken.

Oh, that's her knocking on my bedroom door now. I better go before she comes in and asks what I'm doing. God forbid she sees this and demands to read it.

Bye for now,

-Phin

OoO

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